Caring for aging parents can be complex and emotionally challenging. Based on our experience, we encourage you to have these hard but important conversations anyway… before your parent has a life-changing event and it becomes too late. Below are some questions that hopefully can get you started.
How Do I Have Difficult Conversations with My Parents About Their Future?
Start by selecting an appropriate time and place. Be considerate. Let’s face it. Who really wants to think about aging, much less the idea that one may not be able to care for themselves in their later years. Privacy matters. So, we suggest not broaching the subject in a public environment such as a restaurant. Instead, choose a familiar and private setting, such as their home or yours. Be upfront and say that while it might be an uncomfortable conversation, you love and care for them enough to have it anyway. \
One idea is to start with open-ended questions. For example, “How do you feel about your current living situation?” or “What are your thoughts on the kind of care you might want in the future?” This can facilitate dialogue rather than a one-sided lecture. Next, focus on your loved one’s well-being, emphasizing their safety, comfort, and happiness are your primary concern. Use phrases that focus on solutions rather than problems, i.e. making home modifications and finding in-home care vs. discussing declining health and hospital costs.
What are the Available Options and Costs for Planning?
A reliable resource we utilize is Genworth. You can enter different zip codes to get estimates of the cost of care for your area. This is the same site insurance companies use to price out their policies. It even allows you to fast forward 10-30+ years so you can get estimates on how much the cost of care will increase. You’ll want to learn about the different types of long-term care first – in-home care, assisted living, and nursing homes – to determine what might be suitable for your loved one.
We will continue to explore this important topic in the future and will address legal and financial considerations along with why thinking about future healthcare costs now is a good idea. If you have specific questions, we can help. Call Boyce Wealth & Associates at 512-522-4838 or email me at kelly@boycewealth.com.
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